Mid-June thoughts

6 months past really quickly... In a glance, so many things happened - be it good or bad.

Forged new friendships; earning some recognition at work; a steep learning curve at work. Yet at the same time, some major family problems, insecurity and trust issues surfaced yet again. 

Finally learnt how to start trusting new people I just met and slowly letting them into my fortress. Some have managed to completely break down my fortress, while others are probably still not there yet. Every time when I'm about to fully trust someone again, their actions and behavior forces me to reconsider whether I'm making the right choice or not. It is not easy to trust someone and then suddenly one day, having that trust broken. 

Sometimes, I also wonder how I stand in importance to someone - how much of a priority I am, how much effort a person is willing to make for me no matter how tough the circumstance is... It's hard to be understanding when you put yourself first and yet, you have to try to put their position in your shoes.

The past 2-3 weeks definitely hasn't been any easy one. Insecurity and fear of trust overwhelmed and engulfed my mind once again. Plus the add-on stress from work, it was really hard to focus on whatever I had to do. Another ride on the emotional roller coaster this month, but I gotta calm down the inner stormy waves....

But just really grateful for every good thing that happened this month. Glad my friends still remember me, glad for many lessons learnt and how I should build a stronger fortress around myself.

May the next 2 weeks in June be really blessed and having lesser rollercoaster rides that is easier for me to handle.