Late night deep thoughts

By sharityreddy -
This week has been nothing short of assignments, irritating admin matters and tiredness from school work. Comparing to others, I'm pretty lucky that I only have 3 core mods this sem and not too busy compared to the hell in Sem 1. With procrastination at its best, I had only 2 days to complete my assignment instead of utilizing the 6 weeks I had. Bad decision but cycle will just repeat itself.

On one side trying to complete my assignments, I had to deal with so many problems arising from Hall Prod LOA from school. The worst is having to travel the whole school to each individual schools to submit the different forms. This is crazy- travelling to all the schools in NTU (FML).

Just a little throwback to last weekend's Road Relay. YAY we got 4th but we fell short of being 3rd with just 35 seconds. Suddenly, I felt that I could be the burden in the group because if I had run faster, we might have gotten 3rd instead :(. It's depressing to think about it, but I'm still glad its over and we still got 4th.
Road Relay- 4th

Just a thought that came to my mind. Will you give up a friendship that created so much hurt or will you repair the friendship that you're not interested in and yet the other person still puts some hope in it?

It is still so painful to think about what happened last year. Year 1 was a tough year, transitioning to a fast-paced and super competitive environment that I wasn't ready for. And amidst all that stress, I thought I found a true companion that was worth spending my time and efforts on. However, it was a one-sided effort and eventually when I was about to break down, that friend wasn't there for me because I didn't seem to matter much. It was the most painful memory up till today.That feeling of betrayal cannot be explained with words. I started to learn not to depend on anyone and keep everything to myself, keeping myself standing even when there were many times I almost crumbled. And just to not experience that betrayal again. 

As much as I missed those times, I rather throw those memories away into the bin because there was so much hurt in it. Its painful and thinking about it every now and then inflicts some pain and sadness. And just recently, this friend attempts to patch up the friendship. I'm not sure if it will work because I don't think I will ever forget what had happened, no matter how much I forgive that person. You may judge that I am a petty and unforgivable person, but it was a horrible experience. 

Is it possible for me to take the courage and allow my friend to patch up the friendship? Or should I leave it as it is right now?
Will I be happy again?

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